What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
