remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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