just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
