I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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