You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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