how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
