At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
