Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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