yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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