this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
