I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
