so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
