I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
