I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Randomize