You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
