i permit you to call me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
