I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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