I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize