Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
