is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
