i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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