we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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