we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
