Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
