are you still at the devil's house?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
