well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
be right there i have to get my cape
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
