Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
