how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
