i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
