I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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