I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
