Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
