My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
