That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
