i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
