I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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