we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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