u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
