She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
