I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
