Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
