Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
