we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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