Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
