Im at strip club and am horny
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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