Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
