playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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