i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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