WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
