I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
