I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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