Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
