It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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