I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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