Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
