so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
