so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
