He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
