Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
